Life Before Death; Woman at Point Zero Last Post
Woman at Point Zero by Nawal El Saadawi, is an Egyptian creative non-fiction novel about Firdaus, a young prostitue who murders her pimp. More importanly, Firdaus was raised in a poor enviornment, therefore her opportunities were limited and she had to work extremely hard for anything she wanted. For this reason the novel is universal, money equals power thus money can dictate how lives will be lived. Firdaus was decieved by every person in her life. Unfortunately the deception began with her parents, “…when I used to look into her eyes I could feel she was not my mother. They were not the eyes that held me up each time I was at the point of falling…I sensed he was not my father. Nobody told me and I was not really aware of the fact. I could just feel it deep down inside me”(17-18). After the death of her parents her uncle took over her well being and he supported her obtaining an education. Firdaus felt more love from him than she did from her dad. However, her uncle ends up marrying and the couple decides that Firdaus should leave the house, thus forcing her to marry a man who can support her needs. Sheikh Mahmaud,her husband, treated her like a slave and constantly beat her. Firdaus chose to leave the house one day, she went to her uncles thinking she could find comfort. Before lunch is even placed on the table he takes her back to her husband. Sheikh coldly says, “Couldn’t he bear to feed you for a few days? Now you will realize I’m the only person who can put up with you and who is prepared to feed you”(47). Firdaus left her violent and disgusting husband. Shortly after Firdaus finds comfort in another man, Bayoumi, “I ended up sleeping in his bed throughout the winter and the following summer. He never raised a hand to strike me, and never looked at my plate while I was eating”(51). Firdaus feels safe at his side, she appreciates that Bayoumi took her in but she seeks to make money on her own and asks him for work. For the first time Bayoumi who was expected to be understanding and supportive of Firdaus, beats her… “I now slept on the floor in the other room. He would come back in the middle of the night, pull the cover away from me, slap my face, and then bear down on me with all his weight. I kept my eyes closed and abandoned my body. It lay there under him without movement, emptied of all desire, or pleasure, or even pain feeling nothing”(53). Bayoumi locked Firdaus in a room and not only did he rape her, he invited his friends over to do the same. A neighbour seen her weeping in the roomed and helped Firdaus by calling a carpenter to force down the door. Firdaus immediately ran out the room and she encounters a woman named Sharifa. Sharifa gives Firdaus a shoukder to cry on, she feels like Sharifa truly understands the abuse she’s been experiencing and Firdaus decides to move in with her. “I became a young novice in Sharifas hands. She opened my eyes to life, to events in my past, in my childhood, wich had remained hidden to my mind. She probed with a searching light revealing obscure areas of myself,unseen features of my face and body, making me become aware of them, understand them, see them for the first time”(58). Firdaus becomes a prostitue like Sharifa but Firdaus is younger therefore considered “high” quality. One day Firdaus asks, “Why don’t I feel anything? ‘We work, Firdaus, we just don’t mix feeling with work’ ‘But I want to feel, Sharifa’(60). Firdaus learns that her feelings don’t concern Sharifa, Sharifa like everyone else deceived. Firdaus. Simply,she wanted to profit off of Firdaus. Living with Sharifa taught Firdaus she is valuable. She runs away from Sharifa and prostitutes herself. Yet again, someone sees that Firdaus is lonely and Marzuk attempts to persuade Firdaus into becoming his prostitute. She refuses, she even took it to the police but there she discovers his connections are greater than her own. Therefore, he continues to hassle her, she says ” I want to choose the work I’m going to do…I don’t want to be anybody’s slave”(103). He is persistent in controlling her, since he is standing in the way of her independence…Firdaus kills him. Firdaus grew up in a poor enviornment, she wasn’t educated about sex, money, or morality. She knew what she had observed, being abuse&inequality. She desparately wanted love, she wanted to feel cared about. Everytime she felt weak she was easily decieved by people and she fell victim to their lies. She accepted that she’d never find someone who’d love her, everything she did was for survival. But why would one want to live if one doesn’t feel loved or isn’t in love? She had nothing to loose when she decided to kill Marzuk. Firdaus recieved the death penalty for murdering the pimp, at this point it was understandable that her mentality was ” I hope for nothing I want nothing I fear nothing I am free”(95).
